In any kind of relationships (e.g. friends, family, romantic), something that people always tend to forget or never take into account no matter how much love or dedication they’ve poured out, they somehow forget to reserve that little bit of love for themselves.
And yet, loving yourself, is really the first step in approaching a great and fulfilling life. I’m a firm believer of the saying: If you can’t even love yourself, how are you going to love others? Even the Bible has stated that “You shall love your neighbour as yourself.”(Mark 12:31), in which there is a priority. You must have been loving youself first or have even the slightest idea of loving youself, for it to relate the love when it comes to loving the neighbour.
We all come from different backgrounds. Some of us grew up in a loving and encouraging family, and some of us didn’t. We’ve probably all had some kind of relationship in our lives that has left us feeling hurt. You can’t control your outside circumstances. What you can control, however, is your own choices. It can be hard to love when you feel broken. If you don’t come to any relationship whole, you end up either asking others to fill in the broken pieces or shutting them out completely. That is why you first have to love yourself. Then, you can offer your strengths to the relationships rather than looking to them to fix your weaknesses. We all have the power to make this decision no matter what hand life has dealt us.
It is always easier to blame others. Always. What’s hard is looking to yourself and realizing that maybe it’s you who needs to change. Before you have amazing relationships you have to be someone you would love. Be the mother you would want. Be the girlfriend you would fall in love with. Be the friend you would love to hangout with and share deep down feelings with. Everything we look for in life is a reflection of ourselves. Stop focusing on others’ shortcomings so much and instead work on yourself.
If you love yourself, you will naturally know how to love the others. You will like the people you naturally meet, and they will like you. If you don’t like yourself, you will waste energy trying to get with people who aren’t like you, or you will settle for being with someone you don’t like. You may then ask: how to love yourself? If you want to love yourself, one way to do it is to realise that you are the perfect you that anyone could be. No one else can do the things you do quite like you. No one sees the world quite the same way. No one has precisely your talents, ambitions, or lack thereof. No one screws things up the same way, no one makes the same mistakes and possess that quirkiness like you. No one knows you better than you! At being you, for all your faults and weaknesses, you would get an A+. It’s ok to be the way you are – it must be, because the way you are IS the way you are.
Once you adopt this philosophy or one like it with regard to yourself, you will start seeing others the same way. The truth is, you probably are attracted to the opposite sex equivalent of you. I mean, look at the sort of person you want to get together with. And know that you can become the sort of person who you would want to be with. When it doesn’t happen, it’s just because you’re turned off to them, for the same reasons you’re turned off from yourself. It’s actually easier to change and improve yourself once you accept yourself. Accept yourself, and you will accept them.
Faye Wong, a legendary singer from Hong Kong, she has a very famous song literally called “Love Letter to Myself”, which, as if you don’t already know from the title, is dedicated totally to the message of loving yourself. I love this song, but this one line from the song always speaks so much volumes to me: “Remember your hair, your skin, together they will celebrate diamond jubilee with you”.
This you is the only you you will ever gonna get and will be stuck with you for the rest of your life. So, take care of you, eh?
Daily reminder: love yourself.